Compliment your child’s effort not just achievements. If your son or daughter is putting effort in raising math grades then that work should be praised regardless of whether the math scores are up. Perseverance should be encouraged whenever possible. It’s that effort and willpower that builds up the muscles for grit.
That said, when successes occur, definitely mention it and compliment them. Make sure to tie the success to the effort so they understand that the two are inseparable. Tell them that small successes are just steps on the way to achieving their goals. Using math scores as an example, tell them that it’s doing homework and practicing over and over that made the difference and raised their grades. There was no magic involved.
When success doesn’t come despite the effort, ask them why? Avoid the temptation to offer an explanation yourself. The idea is to get them to critically think about what went wrong and understand the lessons to be learned. What went wrong? Why was the applied effort not successful? What could have been done differently?
If for example, despite doing homework and practicing your child still brings home a ‘C’ in math, ask him or her why they believe it happened. Maybe your child didn’t understand the homework problems making any effort wasted as a result. Should he or she ask the teacher for additional help in explaining the problem? If that isn’t successful should your child go on the internet in search of a better explanation? It’s possible that your child needs to work on math basics so a tutor or a refresher may be needed.
The important thing is that you want to encourage your son or daughter to ask and answer these questions mostly by themselves. They need to feel that they own the success or failure of their efforts. Once the lessons are understood, write them down. These lessons will be the blueprint they need to channel their efforts into success.
